Twenty months later
by thenewcandid
Summary: Draco Malfoy is surviving, a year and a half after the war opposing Lord Voldemort and Harry Potter.
1. Chapter 1

_16th of November_

He looked at the pale and pointed face in front of him.

How could he live with himself, this piece of filth, this coward, this useless git ! Two years had passed since the war and he was still here. « _How come you didn't get rid of yourself yet, you disgusting rat ?! Didn't you realize yet how much pain you caused ? Didn't you noticed every single person in the wizarding world hates you ? The world would be so much nicer if you weren't there. You're the most loatheable person I met…_ ». His voice was so full of hatred it made himself shiver with rage.

The livid face was what he loathed most in his entire life and it was still looking back at him, equal loathing in his eyes, with a tiny dangerous flash of illness. It was too much. He lost his temper and grabbed the closest blunt object he would find and : « _I HATE YOU !_ » His mirror broke into a thousand pieces.

Draco Malfoy had changed since the war. He collapsed on the bathroom floor, hands shaking. He had borne up his guilt for two years now, with the help of his talents in potions, but he had ran out of auroch horn powder two days ago and he was diving into madness. Though it wasn't the first time, and though he knew exactly what happened when he couldn't brew his Morpheus potion, he was dreading what would come next.

Glass fragments were sanking into his bare hands and feet as he got up and dragged himself to his bedroom. He didn't care about hurting his body anymore, he deserved it. And, truth is, physical pain would make him forget the mental one for an instant when it couldn't be soothed by another mean.

A silvery shape entered his flat through the frosting window. « _I am indeed sorry, Mr Malfoy, but you'll have to wait another week for auroch powder, importation is at a dead point right now. But you can be sure I'll send you the first jar I receive. Good day to you, Mr Malfoy._ ». Panic started to invade his mind. « _No, no, no, no… Please…_ ». His voice broke and he crumbled on his bed. That was it, another deadly long week in perspective. His hands, still covered in shattered glass, were clenching his legs with strength, making them bleed. _It hurts, it hurts, it hurts…_ But that was making him think of nothing else for now.

He eventually made his mind to change clothes after a while, because his pants and shirt were stained with blood. He chose other black underpants and pants, with a grey shirt, and decided to take a shower before. Back to the bathroom, he vanished the shattered glass from the floor and undressed painfully to go under the hot water.

As he was below the soothing stream he snatched the glass morsels by hand, not wanting it to be vanished so easily with magic, while a carmine flow joined the water to the pipes. When pain was finished he would just numb his thoughts under the hot stream.

This rare moment of comfort seemed to last long, because darkness had fallen when he turned back to his room, his towel on his skinny hips. But the mistake he made just then sufficed to mess up everything. He looked at the great mirror of his room, behind the screen of bamboo. The creature looking back didn't even seem human. It was more… ghoul-like, with translucent skin and salient bones and dark circles under its eyes. He hadn't eaten in days. The more he could bear was sugared tea. When his mother was coming he would eat a little while she watched but throw up everything when she left. His body just could'nt stand solid food anymore.

His eyes fell on the creature's right forearm, then on his own left forearm. Scars were covering roughly a third of it but the snake and skull were still visible. _Don't even think about it._ His mother was coming the next day, he just couldn't. He put on his shirt and made an effort : tea. _Take a book and think of something else_.

 _Brewing of Morpheus Potion_

 _For this is a potion which will lead you to a high state of rhapsody and torpor_

 _We advise to use it to soothe highly intense pain and always under a healer's watch._

 _In the bottom of a tin caldron dispose 1 teacup of Aurora spores in a circle._

 _Wait until they start to hover a few centimeters from the bottom._

 _Add three cups of golden beetle juice in one stroke,_

 _Place the cauldron on short flames_ and then think about the uselessness of your life _Stop thinking for Merlin's sake !_

He cowered at a corner of his bed, exhausted.

Maybe he could just sleep now, it had been a long time since he had really slept. _Four years ?_ Maybe this time he could just keep his mind of any thoughts, just for enough time to fall asleep. An bitter laugh invaded the room. _Don't be ridiculous._

Ice-grey orbs kept staring at the ceiling.

* * *

Author note : Hello reader(s?) ! I hope you liked this first chapter ! Please correct me if I do grammar mistakes because this is not my original language, this is an exercise for me : as I read the Harry Potter books in english I will try to write this story in correct english as well. The second chapter is already half-written but I don't know when it will be finished. I hope you will like this story, because I think this character is very complex and interesting and as I wasn't fully satisfied with all the fanfics I read about him and I decided to write my own ! And remember that all the wizarding world comes from the imagination of J.K. Rowling and not mine !


	2. Chapter 2

_17th of November_

At two thirty he decided to completely abandon the idea of sleep. _Prepare the apartment for mother._ He stood up and cleaned all the bloodstains he could detect. He didn't want her to know. She was already submerged with her husband in Azkaban, her sister dead and the oversized manor where she was now living alone.

Draco knew, though she hadn't told him, that she wasn't in Azkaban thanks to Harry Potter, but he didn't know why. He wondered if he was in the same situation. An unpleasant shiver came running down his neck.

 _Just tidy the kitchen._

It wasn't very tricky as the only instrument regularly used was the teapot. He turned to face the bathroom door. He had to hide all the potion-brewing supplies under the floor of his wardrobe again. He blocked it with a massive trunk which couldn't be lifted by magic, stared at his perfectly faultless apartment and eyed the clock with an expectant look. His eyebrows frowned immediatly : « _Only three and quarter ?! Are you joking ?_ ».

Feeling empty, he made tea. It seemed to be the thing he did in any situation so why not ? The beverage was smelling good. Black leaves, jasmine scent with a note of angostura. Soothing.

The sleeve of his shirt were not covering his forearms enough so he switched it with a black funnel-neck sweater with long enough sleeves and put on a raven suit jacket. He looked again in the mirror, but this time keeping a pragmatic mind _. Maybe I should do something with the circles…_ He searched for the make up he had found in a muggle shop a while ago. _Gotcha !_ He put it on his dark circles and, even if his face was still hollow, this tint made him look almost healthy.

Back to the kitchen he sat, poured tea into a cup and inhaled the swirling vapors. Jasmine was his favourite.

Three and a half… _Don't think don't think don't think don't think don't think_ … Four o'clock… _Don't think don't think don't think don't think don't think…_ Four and a half… _Remember the screams she made ? DON'T THINK just don't…_ Four and thirty-one minutes…

 _« Please stop… »_. It was just a whisper behind the door but he was hearing her as if her voice were filling the whole manor. _« Please kill me… Please don't- »_. Screams. They don't stop. They're filling his head.

He had always hated her and her friends, but she was still a student of Hogwarts, a seventeen-year-old girl, a classmate. Someone who didn't deserve it. _As if anyone deserved this…_ That was why he had left the manor. Screams. They were deafening and continuous.

When he left for his apartment it went better for a moment. But gradually he would realize that this room of the manor was behind every door. Screams would never end, anywhere he would go. The only solution was too evident. His mother would have died of sorrow if he had done it successfully. And one day he remembered his 6th year in Potions. The Marvellous Morpheus Potion, consciousness's foe.

When he first drank it, it was a long moment of pure, delicious numbness. So he continued to drink it every day. But helplessness was invading him as he saw the effects lessening and shortening.

Then he had an idea, he had heard that muggles were putting some of their medication directly in their veins to have a longer and more intense effect. He apparated in some muggle hospital to watch how they were doing it and stole some syringes.

Back at home he used his slytherin tie as a garrotte to inject the first dose, and it was even better than the first time he drank the liquid. He lay nailed to the ground, mind vacant, during _two entire days_. Then, taking his lesson from the first time, he waited until he was a little in lack of it to take it again. Until now this had worked well except for the moments when he couldn't brew it in time. These moments were his darkest memories. Worse than the day in the manor, because these times screams were amplified so he couldn't even hear his own cries.

 _« Draco ? Draco, are you here ? »_

How long had he fallen into his mind ? _Where's the clock ?_ Ten o'clock. His mother was just getting out of the fireplace, always exactly on time.

 _« My dear child, how lovely to see you at last. You know I miss your presence at the manor, don't you ?_ ».Her elegant voice was almost singing and her eyes glittered as she laid eyes on him.

 _« I also missed you, mother._ ». This was true, he missed her. But he was cautious not to say anything too positive, because he just couldn't return to the manor ever again. That was making her lonely and, he suspected, a little depressed, but it was unconceivable.

« _I kept your room the same as when you left if you want-_ »

« _Mother… Although that is indeed very kind of you, I don't feel ready to go back yet… But thank you._ ».

She let out a sigh. « _It is as you wish, Draco, I don't want to push you._ ».

A moment of awkwardness settled for a few minutes. She was eyeing him with a scanning look, surely trying to guess when was the last time he had eaten. She suddenly got up and headed towards the kitchen : « _How about some tea, Draco ? Yours is cold._ » « _Yes, thank you, mother._ ».

What remained of the morning went not too awkwardly as they discussed impersonal topics. But Draco was dreading lunch.

* * *

Even if Narcissa Malfoy was eating delicate elf-prepared meals, she still knew a few tricks to prepare simple ones for her child.

It was always painful to see Draco because he seemed to thin so much these past months. Every time she went to visit him he was so skinny she was thinking he just couldn't get skinnier, but every next time she was seeing him again she realized how wrong she was before. Although he was eating when she was here, he seemed to only do it because of her presence.

« _I'll make us some porridge, if you want to ?_ »

« _Sure, mother, I'd really like to._ ».

He was always so secret, she couldn't decrypt his feelings. Another stamp of his Malfoy education. Even if in her family people expressed her feelings –sometimes too much, from her point of view- she had given up this part of herself when she married Lucius. Now she regretted it. How could her child confess his feelings to her if she had never taught him how to ?

So there she was, powerless, seeing her child disappear bit by bit, not knowing how to stop it. An insurgent tear made the way out of her eye, and she quietly wiped it, assuming, as she was facing the kitchen wall, that he hadn't seen it.

* * *

Draco was careful not to let out any clue about his situation. _Mother would die of shame if she knew her son can't survive without his potion_ … It was even more difficult as he hadn't had a proper dose since nearly four days. But he was strong, he could do it. _No you can't !_ He had to stay focused. He drank his tea with little sips and focused on the smell of porridge. This was a meal he could stand. Not too solid, with no extravagant taste so it was not too sickening either. He could do it.

Her mother handed him a bowl full of the mixture and he put it in front of him. The first spoonful was difficult to swallow. He felt it all the way from his throat down to his stomach. It was scratching his insides like he was eating wood chips. He smiled to his mother.

After lunch and another cup of perfumed black tea, Narcissa felt she couldn't find another pretext to stay longer. Draco was beginning to look suspicious. Heartbroken, she kissed her dear son on the forehead and headed to the fireplace.

« Goodbye, Draco, I will come again next tuesday, what do you say ? »

« That would be lovely, mother. ».


	3. Chapter 3

_18_ _th_ _of November_

He had spent the night throwing up his porridge first, and then only bile. He was _not_ in a right state. At ten a.m., it had lessened enough for him to go from the toilets to the shower. He kept his clothes, fell in the bathtub and turned on the water. _I'm just going to die throwing up all the water of my body…_

He stayed an hour or two under the cold water spewing just once. Now he had to drink or he would pass out and die and his mother would find his corpse and he couldn't do this to her he just couldn't– _Make tea, make tea now !_ Shaking madly, he made it to the kitchen, and with his trembling hands he put water into the teapot. Now he just had to wait for it to boil. He had to stay conscious so he kept his eyes wide like an elf. He had to put the leaves and wait _again_ to drink it. Screams were beginning to fill his head now. He had never been so bad. He _had_ to find auroch powder _now_.

He poured as much sugar as he could in his mug and, splattering tea everywhere on the table with shaking hands, he achieved to fill it enough for all the sugar to dissolve. Closing his eyes, he drank it slowly not to feel too nauseous afterwards. He felt a bit better after this dose of sugar, but he stayed carefully sat at the kitchen table for an hour at least.

After he had calmed down and had enough strength to get up and walk, he decided he would go to the apothecary to ask him directly another jar. _I'm sure he has a few more jars hidden in his personal stock, I'll just pay him more…_

He changed and quickly filled his coat pocket with his wallet and wand. He put on his hat. Not because it was raining, but to conceal his blonde hair.

He apparated in Diagon Alley and immediately repressed his panic and his madness to replace it with the phlegmatic attitude he wore each time he shown himself in public –which was scarce, so to say. He had to go up the whole street to the apothecary's. He was working hard not to see all the loathing looks thrown at him and ignoring the disgust they were showing just with their postures. He decided to completely isolate his mind from outside until arriving to the shop.

It took him by surprise and he let out a groan. Someone had just bumped on his shoulder on purpose. « _Go to hell Malfoy !_ » He hadn't closed his mind fast enough to _not hear_ this. The shop was only a few steps away, he just had to walk impassively during four or five seconds.

When he finally stepped into the shop everything went like in a dream. « _Mr Malfoy, I told you I would contact you as soon as my stock would be filled again. That is not the case now, and that is why I have_ not _contacted you, do you understand ?_ » At that moment Draco was seeing him from an external point of view. Like there was one air-Draco and one flesh-Draco. He saw himself leave the shop and apparate in a random muggle street, not knowing what the flesh-one had in mind. He saw him wandering, closed faced, between the passers-by, not knowing where he was. Suddenly he saw a tear drop from his right eye. _Oh no, what am I thinking of right now ?..._

It happened very quickly. Someone had just taken him by the shoulder and was forcing him towards the small street on the side. At that same moment the two Dracos joined immediately like they had never parted. And then he realized the someone was not just one. His face was no longer still, he was panicking like he never had because of the hands that were imprisoning him and blocking him and- _CALM DOWN ! Calm down and think ! What do they want, who are they, do they know me, do I know them, what are they going to do if I resist, do they want to kill me, what if I tell them I can pay them, am I going to die here... Why do I wonder so much ? I don't care, am I ? Of course you care, stop pretending you're not afraid !_

He was thrown against the wall and the witch casted some invisible ropes tying him to the wall. His vision was blurred by panic and his lack of potion, he was furiously trying to struggle as much as he could but he couldn't escape. Then some known voice started to speak: « _Can I punch him now ?_ » It was a man's voice, belonging to some Gryffindor bloke, named something like McLogan or- « _Cormac, we agreed I was going to be first on this ! You won't take it away from me !_ ». Wasn't it Name-of-a-random-flower Brown ? She had changed so much he hadn't recognised her at first. She seemed to have become more… mean. « _Okay but when it's my turn I'm going to do it my way._ » He had a menacing look. There was another bloke behind them, who seemed to be another McSomething from Hufflepuff, jaws clenched, looking like he loathed him even more than the others. But now Draco knew who these people were, he wasn't afraid. Not that he didn't think he would be hurt, but because he knew that what was going to happen was justified. He was more conscious than ever.

« _Give me his wand, Cormac_ ». The man searched in Draco's coat pockets, put it out and gave it to the witch obediently. The ropes tying him faded. But he wasn't stupid enough to try to escape now that they were three and had his wand. « _Hey Malfoy ! –_ Oh my, she's now addressing me _…- Why do you look so confident now you've seen us ? Don't tell me that after all you've done, that after all we suffered we're not worth of your attention ? Look at what I've become after the war ! I can eat people at full moon, and you know, it's a little bit disturbing. And as it was_ your _little friend who did this I think_ I'm _aloud to revenge, that's all._ » He looked at her distorted face and then just bent his eyes and accepted his fate. She was probably going to punch him in the face, cast him a memory charm, break his wand in two- « _CRUCIO !_ »

He fell on the ground grasping his abdomen, all muscles rigid, not even able to scream because it was too much. Every inch of skin, every piece of muscle, every bone, every organ, every single ounce of flesh was being torn and burnt and lacerated and severed and bitten and stripped and tormented. His vision was blurred, he couldn't hear anything but he could feel each single nerve ending hurt like a million white hot knives were shredding him into a thousand pieces.

Finally, she stopped casting the spell. Draco stayed on the floor, still grabbing his ribs and stomach. His sob shook him by surprise. To the disappointment of his assailants, he suppressed the others that were coming. « _Okay, I'm done. Your turn guys_. »

« _Hey Malfoy, as we heard, during six fucking years, that you don't really like muggles and all, Ernie and I decided that we're gonna finish you the muggle way, what do you say ?_ » He couldn't do anything anymore. He couldn't even move his eyes for what he knew. He could just stare at the other side of the deserted street, hoping that his execution would be quick enough.

First it was a kick in the abdomen, and then they were hitting him in the ribs. McGryffindor then took him by the collar of his shirt and punched him hard on the temple and the jaw, which made him return to the ground immediately, this time with a salted and ironed taste in the mouth and a vision stained with red. It went on for a long time, but he didn't moan a single time. How could he complain ?

Then arrived a moment his body couldn't take it anymore. He heard an alarming crack as McHufflepuff kicked his knee for the hundredth time, and another as the other knee-stroked him in the ribs.

The last thing he saw was a shoe coming far too fast towards his face.


	4. Chapter 4

_19_ _th_ _of November_

It was a smell that woke him up. A disgusting smell. Where was he ? He tried to open both his eyes, but it seemed that the left one refused to. The right one could only see pitch black. Where did they put me ? His heart rate began to get way too fast. When he turned his head up, or what he thought was up, he saw a feeble ray of light and moved to get his hand to it. The thing he was on made a sort of crumpling noise and he felt the texture was not very trustworthy. He tried to stand, first leaning on his arm, then on his left knee. Bad idea. He repressed a groan when the sharp pain in his knee came back by surprise. He fell down again on the weird material. Causing his ribs to feel exactly the same as his knee previously.

« _Fuck ! »_

It came naturally. He prevented himself from looking at the injuries, afraid that he would faint, weak as he was.

Does the smell come from the ground ? That's when he realised where he was : they had thrown him in the garbage. This was enough. _But maybe it was the most obvious thing to do, you filth…_ _No, only I can make this choice_. He stood again on his right leg this time and paid attention to touch the least he could of this disgusting environment. He swung open the top of the trash bin and carefully stepped out of it.

 _« Fuck Salazar ! »_ He had underestimated the height of the trash bin. _Just a last effort, stand up and look around for your wand. Then it'll be over._ After a few minutes he found a grey cat playing with it down the blind alley. « _Get off !... Please… You_ … » The cat didn't seem to pay any attention to his hostility. So he tried the other way and gently pushed the cat aside to get his wand. The cat rubbed its head against his hand and purred. That made him stop for a moment, looking at the adorable feline. « _Oh, come on, don't make my heart melt like this. I can't keep you, I won't be able to feed you in the long run !_ » The cat was purring even more and licked his hand. _Maybe it's a sign_. _Maybe the cat's here for me_ … He looked around and then again at the cat. Was it lost ? Had it a name ? « _Do you mind if I call you… Lionson ? Or… Artichoke ? Oh I know, I can call you… Stardust, do you like it ?_ » The cat kept purring without a break. May be this little boy was his saviour after all…

He put his wand in his pocket and took the cat under his arm. He stood a last time to get focused enough and disapparated to his living room. But the cat panicked. It jumped out and, after spotting the open window, disappeared through it.

Draco just stood there, empty.

A lot of scenes passed through his eyes.

It really felt like no more suffering could be borne, even if he knew he deserved it.

He limped to the bathroom. His reflexion faced him when he reached the tub. Half of his hair wasn't blonde anymore. And the dry blood was also covering a third of his face, including his swollen eyelid. He took his wand and put off his coat.

Before returning to the bathroom, he hung the coat and looked at the apartment. No need to tidy it, it was already all in order. No excuse to delay anymore.

With his elbow he broke the mirror, then muttered something, pointing his wand at the piece he held.

 _First, the cause of all of this_. He sat on the floor, pulled up his left sleeve and looked and the foul mark with an indescribable look. The thing that represented all he hated, printed on his body forever. _Not forever_. Holding the piece of glass tight in his right hand, he pressed it through his skin. Immediately a staining stream flowed from the cut. He meticulously and deeply traced a rectangle around the tattoo. He let out a trembling sigh when the carmine frame was achieved. _Here comes the nasty business_. Dropping the sharp tool he sank his fingers in the side of the rectangle which was closer to the elbow. And gathering all the strength he could, he pull as hard as he could, screaming louder than he ever did.

After four tries, the shred of skin stayed in his right hand.

 _I'm free_ …

He put the marked skin aside and looked at his lacerated arm with tears of relief. Now he could go without this disgusting part. He took his glass morsel and deeply slashed his other arm. He could feel life slowly spreading outside his veins, and coldness enveloping him soothingly. The voice of Death was calling him.

« _My dear Draco…_ »

* * *

After having seen her son so weak that day she was devastated. Why wasn't he telling anything to her ? She couldn't let him go weaker and weaker without doing anything. So she decided to come Saturday morning instead of Tuesday. He needed help.

With her usual elegance she put a long black shawl on her shoulders and headed to the sitting room's fireplace. After letting out an anguished sigh, she threw the handful of floo powder.

When she arrived in the little apartment, there wasn't a sound. But then she heard a shy meow coming from the bathroom. She saw his shoes through the gap of the door behind the cat coming at her but didn't realized yet. The cat drew nearer and meowed louder, his soaked paws gripping her dress. She realized what it was soaked with.

She burst into the bathroom, not able to think straight. There he was in a pool of red, colourless lips and disfigured face. His arms were so tainted she couldn't see where he was cut. « _Oh no, Draco, my dear Draco…_ » She couldn't control her eyes, they were streaming tears over her face without stopping. Shaking with fear she fell on the ground not daring to touch him. _Keep your calm_. It wasn't lost, she would drag him to St Mungo's and the healers would take care of him and he would be on his feet in no time. Choking, she stretched her arm and pulled his head to her shoulder and took her wand with a trembling hand. No, she couldn't do magic in her state. She dragged him to the fireplace as fast as she could, shouted St Mungo's Hospital and they were gone.

Stardust meowed sadly, not knowing what to do. He decided to wait by the fireplace in case the blonde giant would come back.

« _Help me ! Someone, please !_ » she shouted as soon as she arrived to St Mungo's fireplace. But she couldn't feel anything anymore, she couldn't see, she was shaking too much and crying too much and she couldn't accept that he could be… No, she couldn't accept this. A bunch of people were now drawing him out of her arms, out of her reach. A figure was grabbing her by the shoulders and was speaking to her but she couldn't hear it and she couldn't see her dearest baby and she was lost and despaired and empty.

* * *

Katie was in her third year of Healer studies. She had done her first traineeship in the muggle aisle of St Mungo's with brio. Her director had encouraged her to go to the intensive care department. « _Don't say to anyone that I told that to you but all your teachers think you're the best student in years, so yes I think you can do it. Hey, but don't let this go to your head, that's the best way to regress, ok ?_ »

So there she was in the most difficult service of the hospital. The first two weeks were tough. She saw some cases of severe dragon bites, some really bad curses but she stayed strong. « _Of course you have to care about people, otherwise you wouldn't want to heal them, would you ? The thing I'm trying to make you understand is that if you care too much, every case will… affect you, and if you're not careful, it can destroy you, and you won't be able to take care of people correctly if you're broken in pieces, trust me._ » She had put some barriers like her new referent had told her to.

After a month and a half, she had taken her marks and felt confident. Here she felt like she could really help people. It was the department she wanted to be in for the rest of her life. Of course people died here more than in any of the other services but it was also here that people were saved from the worst. She had come familiar with the patients used to this service, and knew how to make her patients trust her. She knew them well but never let losses bring her down.

That day she wasn't prepared for this. When that woman arrived with her son in her arms, completely soaked in blood. She had already saw blood but never that much. She didn't know how to react and she was standing still, just watching open mouthed. But the referent quickly got her out of her petrified state « _Bell, you stay with the mother, we take him to the fifth floor ! Be careful, try to calm her, don't let her go and use a charm if you have to, okay ? And when she's stable, find someone to take over and come join us for him ! – Y…Yes, fine, okay…_ »

The group of healers were transferring the red boy in a stretcher while she took the mother by the shoulders. She was trying to say to her that the healers were doing what they could and that she couldn't go with her son but that poor woman didn't seem to listen at all. She was obviously making a panic attack so Katie tried to shake her and make eye contact but nothing worked. So she was forced to immerse her into an artificial sleep and then found an empty armchair to put her in in the waiting room.

She couldn't help but wonder what was going on for the boy at that moment. If he died this woman would be destroyed and could never put the pieces together… But she had already seen parents lose their children, it wasn't that uncommon, especially the last few years.

As soon as a nurse walked in the room, she entrusted him with the sleeping woman to go to the fifth floor.

Five healers were already at his bedside, four of them performing spells. He was livid and his eyelids were closed. His head was falling backwards. They had removed his clothes and he was rachitic, like an abused and deprived animal. His skin wasn't red anymore but patched with blue and purple.

« _Ah, Bell, come here, I'll brief you : we healed his contusions and fractures, but he lost loads of blood and I don't know how these cuts were made but they can't be closed with all the spells we tried so we're going to sew them the muggle way, and transfuse him like in muggle hospitals, okay ? – B… But I've just done this once ! – Well you will learn on the ground or we'll lose him, okay ? Put yourself together and go fetch me some intravenous tube, syringes and sewing material, they're in the nurses' cabinet._ »

She ran to the cabinet and took all they needed while trying to compose herself. Her referent was a tough woman but Katie felt that she needed someone pushing her up like this. Plus, she was the best Healer in St Mungo's so it would be okay.

As she came back she handed the injection kit. The referent sent another healer ask for a blood bag to the alchemists and told Katie to sew the injuries while she was pricking him in the arm and plugging the intravenous tube. Katie began with the right arm, where the cuts were only… cuts. While she was meticulously sewing them, a healer was keeping the blood from streaming outside the body and another one was maintaining the heart and lungs. When she achieved the right arm, the first healer made his spell wearing off for a few seconds and it seemed that the blood was not flowing out of the sewed arm. Good sign. He repeated the spell while she started working on the second arm. It was severely injured and a whole bunch of skin was missing. « _I have to grow some of his skin – Okay, you'll have to collect a sample on a part which is not already injured, and I'll help you bandage the arms when I'm finished with this._ » Katie looked up a few seconds to see that the blood bag was now filling the patient's veins. She cut a little bit of skin from his thigh and expanded it to the size of the left arm's injury. After sewing this patch of skin, she threw a look at the blood restraining healer and he let the spell wearing off, watchful. The bleeding had stopped.

They protected his arms with heavily enchanted bandages. If any blood went out they would be informed, as well as if anything unusual happened to these injuries.

« _I think he's stable… We keep him on observation here for an hour or two then find him a bed in the post-spell care unit, I think there's one next to Tori. Bell, can you please go and check ? – Sure._ »

After going down to the second floor, she opened the door. The post-spell care unit was a very large room with twelve bed, but you could ask the enlargers of the hospitals to add one if necessary. She went towards Tori's bed. Without looking up, she said : _« Yes ? – It's Katie, how are you ? – Well you're the first one to talk to me today but, hey, it's just ten so I'm not that despaired !_ – _Any neighbour currently, Tori ? – Well there's the potato on my left but on the other side, no. The last one healed, fucking asshole if you ask me. – Well you might have a new one then, but he's not in very good state. – Whatever, that will be at least funnier than the eggplant. – Okay, we'll bring him to you in an hour or so. See you later ! – See ya, and thank you for coming every day, you're the only one who does that… – No prob Tori, I'll see you in an hour._ »

After that she returned to the waiting room to fetch the mother. She was still sleeping in the armchair she had left her in, with the nurse surveying her. _« Hey, Dylan, can you help me carry her to another chair next to her son's bed ? – Yeah, where ? – Post-spell care unit. – Wow, what does he have ? Oh isn't it the one who arrived an hour ago ? – Yeah, well, we'll talk about it later okay ? I'm pretty much in a hurry right now. – Yeah, sorry._ »

The mother was reminding her of something. She hadn't noticed yet but this woman was clearly not a stranger. Where did she see her ?

After putting her in an armchair next to her son's bed (which was empty for now) she thanked the nurse and turned to the woman to undo the spell. She opened her eyes slowly and immediately started to breathe quickly. « _Madam, please keep calm, your son is fine. The Chief Healer is keeping him in observation for half an hour and then he'll be installed in this bed, okay ?_ » The woman seemed to calm down, but didn't say a word.

« _When you're fine enough, I'll need you to fill the forms, is that okay ? – Um, I can do it now, I think… – Okay, I'll go and fetch them. And if you need anything ask any nurse or healer in this room, okay ?_ »

She came back with the forms and casted a stool next to the woman. Her name was Malfoy and that's when she remembered who was this young man. The Slytherin seeker. That was unexpected. How could this little, odious and immature show-off be like this now ? She said nothing about this and just kept filling the pieces of paper.

After a few minutes the stretcher arrived and the Chief levitated him on the new bed.

Narcissa felt life filling her again when she saw her son on the bed.

He was alive.


	5. Chapter 5

_19_ _th_ _of November, again_

At three after noon, Katie went back to the post-spell care unit to see Tori and the bloody seeker.

« _So how are you ?_ _–_ _Well that was tough, never seen such injuries but he's stable for the moment. You ?_ _–_ _I made my favourite muffin joke to the healer who did my spell at noon but he didn't laugh_ at all. _–_ _What is it again ? I don't know if you told me that one._ _–_ _I did, you know, two muffins in an oven and the first says "Man, it's so hot in here !"_ _–_ _Oh, yeah, and the other one says "Man, what the hell, a talking muffin !", yeah, you told me that one. I was laughing my ass off by the way_. »

Katie was giggling. A half-sad smile covered the face of Tori at that moment. Katie had difficulties reading people's face sometimes.

Tori was a _really_ nice person. Even if she was three or four years younger than Katie and even if they knew each other since hardly a month, she was like a twin sister now. She made a joke per day and it seemed that she was testing anyone coming to do her spell by telling them jokes and if they did laugh they were accepted to be potential friends. Katie had puffed at the first joke she heard from her and was coming to talk to her every day since.

Tori was very badly cursed and needed daily care for the curse to remain dormant. It was destroying her by waves. Half of the time she could stay at home without any treatment but at random moments she was on the edge of death and needed powerful spells every hour to keep her alive and well, so she had to stay at St Mungo's all the time. This curse seemed to have been in her all her life but first manifested when she was twelve, and she had to leave Hogwarts.

« _Tori, I must leave you, I have to see your neighbour._ _–_ _Bloody Mary ?_ _–_ _Wha..? Don't call him that, it's not funny !_ _–_ _Why ? It's already his nickname in the whole hospital !_ » She was bluffing, that was for sure.

« _How do_ you _know ? you're in this bed all the time._ _– …_ _Well that's the nickname I gave him, so it will probably spread in the whole hospital anyway, you should use it to look cool in front of all your healer friends who don't laugh at my jokes._ _–_ _Ha, okay, see you tonight_ »

She drew the curtain and closed it behind her. The lady was looking with anguished yet loving eyes at her son and Bloody Mary was still sleeping. _Don't call him like that, you just told Tori not to._ He was very skinny. _He must weigh like forty kilograms from what I saw_. Now that the mother wasn't in shock anymore she could talk to her.

The elegant lady wasn't very loquacious, but it wasn't a problem as Katie just had to explain what Draco had. Questions would come afterwards.

« _Your son is fine for now, Mrs Malfoy. We healed his injuries so he's not in critical conditions anymore. But there are some things I have to tell you about._ » She turned her head to Katie, granting her full attention.

« _First of all, he is very underweight. It seems like he doesn't eat… almost at all. And secondly, those injuries weren't the only one we saw. He's… covered in scars on his arms and legs and we wonder if he is… hurting himself, actually._ » There was a silence and the mother looked at her son with wet eyes, biting her lips to restrain herself from crying. Katie was heartbroken seeing this scene. _He is indeed very different from what I remember from Hogwarts…_

« _Mrs Malfoy, I have to ask you if you could bring back some clothes and maybe personal belongings of your son… Because he'll have to stay at St Mungo's for a moment if we want to heal him from all these problems._ »

* * *

At the beginning of the evening, the shadow of Narcissa Malfoy entered the small apartment of Draco, dreading to live the horrible morning scene again. Like that morning, a grey cat came to her but unlike this morning, it was dry blood on its paws. Nothing could make her go in that bathroom again, so she accioed the toothbrush and Draco's bathroom things. One day I'll clean it, but not today… The cat loudly meowed, like it was anguished. After a sigh she gave away to wash the cat's paws in the kitchen sink. It first struggled but eased up when it saw what she was doing. As she was gently scrubbing the paws under warm water, the furball began to purr, closing its eyes. Maybe it was Draco's, but she had never seen this cat. _I'll feed him just in case_. It was soothing to see such an adorable creature bringing life into this damned place.

While the cat was eating the tuna she had gave it, she went to Draco's room to find clothes. It was perfectly tidy. Perfectly tidy… She burst into tears at that thought. After a few minutes sit on his bed she eventually stopped crying. She stood up to calm down and approached the wardrobe. It wasn't difficult to choose clothes for Draco. They were always grey or black, with elegant cuts and no sign of any damage. They were perfectly clean, ironed and folded. She took three black, funnel-neck, long sleeve t-shirts and two grey shirts. She also took underwear and pants but when she took the last pair of socks, the pile of clothes she was holding fell down and half of the clothes fell behind a trunk on the wardrobe floor. Narcissa sighed and took out her wand but the flicker was totally inefficient. Eyebrows furrowed, she tried again, focused, but the trunk made absolutely no move.

* * *

Katie was in the Healers' rest room doing a quick nap before the night of hard work that was waiting for her.

* * *

 _No Healer on the right. Idem on the left_. Tori could finally go for her daily walk in St Mungo's corridors. She pushed away her sheets and, with catlike attitudes, jumped out of her bed, barefoot. The dusky shadows on her skin made her feel more confident than ever. No one would notice her. She could wander freely all night by hiding in the shadows. Yes, the shadows were her friends. She was like a dark ghost haunting the Hospital. _Which is pretty funny_.

Her feet were soon bored of the silky wooden floor so she climbed the carved walls of the post-spell care unit with agility and perfect silence to finally make it to the doors. _A nurse in the corridor but she's looking the other way._ Jay hair concealing her gaze, she was watching, patiently. _Now_. She passed the door and quickly reached the wooden beams of the ceiling. Now she could go wherever she wanted. _Why not a nice stroll in the final phase unit, or a picnic in the- What the…_ An agonizing scream was coming from the room she had just left. She rushed back immediately, without caring of being seen.

* * *

Narcissa was struggling with the trunk since almost ten minutes when it finally fell out of the wardrobe. She gathered the clothes and threw them on the bed before returning to observe the wardrobe floor. How many secrets was he hiding ? She was touching the floor, probing with her fingers, when she felt a lowering of the planks. She pressed the lath and discovered an alcove under it. She just had to remove the wooden plank. This done, she threw an apprehensive eye to the now revealed nest. _Oh Salazar…_

* * *

 _Numbness… Numbness… Screams, no… Numbness… Light ? Am I not… Dead ?_ His eyes were slowly opening to the silent and blurred post-spell care unit. The last rays of sun were enlightening the room with a soft pink glimmering. _What is it ? Where's my body ? Why are my arms… so white ?_ His vision was slowly clearing but his mind was still stray. _What's this ? Are you real ? You're so beautiful…_ The creature was flying around the room. It had a white dress, floating black hair and, it seemed, no face. The creature disappeared, dissolving in the air. His attention came back to his arms. But he couldn't focus on them, because a growing sensation was slowly reaching all of his body. Closing his eyes, he clenched his jaw. It was pain.

He took a deep breath to open his eyes again. _Focus on your arms. What's wrong with them ?_ His gaze locked on the bandages and he understood. He was in a hospital. But there was something wrong with his body and his bandages. Everything was aching more and more. And these bandages were very horrible. Something was _moving_ inside them. In fact, something was swarming inside them. His breath became erratic.

« _What's… wrong… with me ?_ »

Tears were filling his eyes as the fear and pain were growing. He was taking panicked breaths with difficulty and sobs were beginning to shake him dangerously. The swarming bandages were inflating with whatever was inside. Pain was now burning his entire body. His jaws were clenching tighter. He wished he could close his eyes to bear the pain but they couldn't stop looking at his arms.

Suddenly the bandages began to be torn apart. His eyes widened with horror. Thousands of red beetles were swarming out of the holes and were invading his skin to cover him entirely. He couldn't escape. Something was keeping him glued to the bed. The beetles were now climbing his neck. The ones covering the rest of his body were eating his skin. He was wrestling, sobbing, and suddenly shouted desperately as the bugs reached his eyes. They were biting him and their acid saliva was melting his skin and soon his eyes were punctured and the liquid inside them was pouring over his cheeks. As he screamed the beetles broke in his mouth and made their way down his throat to eat his insides. His screams were echoing in the hole Hospital. His body was arching, maintained by straps attached to the bed. Every convulsion made his scream more despaired. Now he was just pieces of melted flesh in a pond of blood and acid.

* * *

A dishevelled ghost entered in the Healers' rest room by surprise.

« _Katie, come quick, the… suicidal blonde, he's-_ » She had visibly lost her breath running. _How can she be out of bed ?_

 _« Katie, no time to think, he's like… Just come, quick, please !_ »

Katie put her blouse on as getting out of the room. A loud scream was filling the corridors. Tori was running before her barefoot and surprisingly fast, she was barely able to follow. When she burst in the room she saw the blond seeker arching with convulsions and his screams were like no others she had heard before. As she stood next to the bed she saw the revulsed eyes of her patient and his head falling backwards as he was gasping for air.

« _Oh Godric, what is this ?! – Oh no, you're telling me that you don't know ?_ » Tori was crying. Her voice was filled with tears « _Katie, please don't tell me he's going to die, there are too much deaths here, he can't die… – It looks like a panic attack, or any attack of something… We should try to-_ » Tori had just jumped and was standing on the blonde's bed shaking his shoulders in her hands and screaming as well « _STOP DOING THIS ! STOP !_ »

* * *

His eyes locked with her. He was not eaten. But the pain was still unbearable. He stopped screaming but was still shaking with violent sobs and his body was rigid with tension. Her eyes understood him and they were feeling the same pain. He could rely on them as long as they wouldn't go. He would hang on them until the pain would disappear. But it was crushing his body and he knew he would be going soon. Another shout came out of his mouth. The eyes were feeling what he felt, and the hand came to his support. It landed softly on the side of his head. It came to rest on his neck with the thumb stroking his cheek.

But they were abruptly removed from him.

* * *

« _GET OFF ME !_ » Katie's referent had burst in the room with another Healer by her side, who was now holding Tori like a lamb by her legs and arms. « _Bell, the mother sent me a message, there's no time to explain to you, just move !_ » The referent was now bustling around Draco and Katie was too scared to be able to do or understand anything.

* * *

His shout was shut down without his consent. And then gradually it came back. _Numbness…_


End file.
